HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE
Part 4 of 5: Surviving Stress over Money
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
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Today we continue our series of tips to help you beat the blues over the holidays:

• Holiday Blues Number 1:
  Seasonal Affective Disorder ("SAD") in 6 Dec issue
• Holiday Blues Number 2:
  Seasonal Illnesses - in 9 Dec issue
• Holiday Blues Number 3:
  Family "Dramas" - in 16 Dec issue
• Holiday Blues Number 4:
  Stress over Money - in today's issue
• Holiday Blues Number 5:
  Feelings of Isolation - coming Thurs 31 December
  

TIP: If you want to receive all 5 articles, be sure to subscribe to this newsletter in the green box at the left hand side of your screen.

Let's face it. Sometimes we spend money during the holidays as if we had an unlimited supply of cash. But then, the bills start to arrive. And while we might have felt bright, bubbly and festive when we did our holiday shopping, when we begin to assess the financial "damages", our euphoria can rapidly turn into stress, and even guilt, making it impossible for us to feel the joy of the season.

I'm pretty sure just about all of us have experienced such "buyer's regret" at one time or another in our lives when we have purchased something and thought twice about it after the fact. At other times of the year, if we bought something and had regrets about it afterwards, we could usually return it if we wished. But with holiday spending, this isn't so easy, as most of our spending is on gifts for others, or on holiday consumables like food, drink and entertainment. We cannot return these items and get our money back.

So, how can we relieve ourselves from this stress and guilt?

It would be all too easy to say, "Just don't spend as much next year." Equally, it would be all too easy to say, "Don't worry about it. It's only money. You can't take it with you, so spend it when you've got it."

But the problem is, it doesn't work like that. To say, "Just don't spend as much" is about as effective as telling a smoker or a drinker, "Just don't smoke/drink as much." The truth is we are probably spending for reasons ever so subtle, we might not even be aware of them. And unless we understand our true motivation for matters to do with money, no amount of "Why don't you just do this or that" will change our habits. Money is not actually the cause of our stress and guilt. It is how we think about ourselves in relation to money that is the culprit.

In this article, I will look at three common ways our relationship with money can cause stress in many people, especially during the holidays:

1. Misunderstanding the true nature of money
2. Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
3. Using money as a distorted measurement of our worth

What money is and what it is not
Our culture of consumerism seems to induce the feeling that we are dependent upon money, just the same way an addict feels dependent upon a particular substance. But the truth is we are not dependent upon money; we have only given our power away to it and come to believe we are.

Money is actually a convenience we human beings have created to enable us to place a quantifiable value upon things, so we can easily trade for whatever we want and need to make our lives fuller and happier. Our monetary system has helped us move from needing to determine an equivalent value for every single item or service we might wish to exchange with each other. It also made life a heck of a lot more practical and enabled us to create the modern world in which we currently live. For instance, I seriously doubt I would be sitting writing this article if, every day, I had to lug around a bucket of milk with me every time I wanted to get a loaf of bread, or whatever I happened to need. I'd have no time for self-development or writing articles!

Seen from this perspective, we can realise that money is actually a creation, a tool and a convenience we humans invented to make our lives easier and to give us more time to grow at a level of consciousness, rather than simply focus on survival all the time. I would go so far as to say that money is a "divinely inspired" creation. How ironic it is, therefore, that so many of us get into a panic and regress to a sub-human "survival mode" when it comes to thinking about money. Our fears and anxieties prevent us from seeing the divine nature of money. Some are so fearful and so blinded to the divine nature of money that they try to use money to gain power over others, either physically or psychologically, thus creating more stress, fear and anxiety in the world (for the most part, all those annoying "cold calls" you get from call centres are dependent upon your anxieties around money, and their entire ethos is built upon a distorted view of what money is).

But when we can see the divine nature of money, we are able to develop a genuinely healthy relationship with it. We come to understand that it can help us create a world in which we have time to explore the Self and find fulfilment at the Soul level, in whatever form that might mean to us. If we relate to it for any other reason (i.e., "I need money to pay my bills," etc.) we are apt to feel inferior to and resentful towards it, and will tend to push it away from us, making our feelings of lack even greater.

So take a deep breath and start to see money from this perspective: as a wonderful creation whose sole purpose is to bring freedom and enlightenment to all human beings (not just the so-called "rich"). If we are feeling imprisoned by money, rather than free, it does not mean we need more money; it means we have not yet fully understood our authentic relationship with it.

How our perspective determines our relationship with money
Just as in our relationships with other people, it is important to cultivate a healthy relationship with money. If we view it as the evil Task Master, it will treat us as if it were one. If we view money with the spirit of creativity and choice, it changes our relationship entirely. Here's an example: Let's say I am walking down the High Street with £20 in my pocket and I unexpectedly see something I have been looking for that normally costs £20 but is on sale today only for £10. It's a great bargain, but I know I have to go grocery shopping, and I usually spend £20 on food. I have a choice in how I react to it:

• I could tell myself, "I can't afford that. I don't have enough money," and feel disempowered and limited.
• I could tell myself, "I'll buy it and I'll just have to live on canned soup and stale bread," and feel impoverished, lacking and guilty.
• I could tell myself, "I'll put it on a credit card. What difference will an extra £10 make?" and delude myself that I am in control, making my dependency problem even worse.
• I could tell myself, "I want to spend my money on food today, and I'll come back next week for that," and feel more empowered and at choice.
• I could tell myself, "I've really wanted that a long time, so I'll buy that today, and when I do my grocery shopping, I'll save money by leaving out all the packaged meals and treats, and stock up on my favourite fresh fruit and vegetables instead. I'll even make the fruit and veg taste especially delicious by looking up some new recipes for them on the Internet," and not only feel at choice, but feel I have created an exciting solution for myself.

The key to remember is that the more we are able to see money as a creative tool for our own fulfilment, rather than something that is both limited and limiting in our lives, the more we are able to develop a healthy relationship with it and free ourselves from stress. In other words, when we view money as a free-flowing energy that is meant to flow into us and through us from the world, we can then begin to allow it to come into our lives. I discuss the attribute of "Allowing" in the section called "The Principle of Receiving" in my book The Garden of the Soul. In order for things to flow into us, we must allow them to enter. Money is no different. If we view money as something that has control over us, we will block the barriers to it coming into our lives, and continue the vicious cycle of disconnection, lack, and helplessness.

Using money as a substitute for authentic expression
Just as it is important to understand our relationship with money, it is equally important to understand the reasons why we spend money, especially during the holiday season. Are we spending for the "wrong" reasons? For instance, are we using spending as a means to express our love? Buying gifts to express love is fine, but in some cases, spending becomes a substitute for actual expression of love. I have known many people in my life who found it difficult to express love outwardly, so they would buy gifts as a way to say what they felt they could not say with words or other actions. The result was that they would feel good when they were shopping for the gifts, but afterwards, their mood would dip seriously low.

I've observed several reasons why people who spend for the wrong reasons experience this mood swing. First, they feel as though they are unappreciated or misunderstood by the person(s) for whom they bought the gifts. This is because, whether consciously or not, they had replaced their ability to express their inner feelings with external gifts. But no gift can ever adequately express our feelings. And while the recipient of the gift might feel truly grateful, the gift can never say what the gift giver is truly feeling inside. In other words, gifts can only ever be an enhancement, not a replacement, of our emotional expression. If we use them to express what we feel incapable of expressing, we are likely to experience the "dip". We might even feel that our feelings are not being reciprocated by the other person, but when our emotions are not clearly expressed, we are less likely to get the kind of response we are seeking.

The flow of natural self-expression is an attribute of "The Principle of Giving" in my book The Garden of the Soul. The key to understanding "Giving" is in understanding where it originates. In order to learn how to give authentically, we must first be able to tap into the resources of our own inner Self. All true giving starts there. If we use gift buying to avoid the flow of energy from our inner self into the outer world, we will always feel misunderstood, frustrated and "poor".

If you are experiencing this kind of "dip" after you have completed you holiday spending, I encourage you to explore the enquiries:

1. What I am trying to say through my spending?
2. What other means can I use to express myself more clearly and openly?
3. What holds me back from being clear and open?

Money as a distorted measurement of our own worth
If you finally want to unlock the straight-jacket in which you have put yourself over money, it is vital that you take a good, honest look at how much of your opinion of yourself is entangled with your financial wherewithal. Ask yourself, "How much of my self-worth do I determine according to how much money I have?" You might not be completely conscious of the fact that you are doing this. But if you have fleeting thoughts that your house, job, clothes, car or other possessions are not good enough compared to other peoples', or that you "should" have better things just because it feels like the rest of the world has more than you do (as opposed to wanting things because they are a part of your inner-most dreams), then you might be measuring your self-worth through your money.

If you find that you routinely use credit cards to get things that make you feel better, but then you feel guilty and stressed every time the bills come around, you are more than likely allowing money to be a distorted measurement of your own worth, whether consciously or not. It is highly important that we tap into "The Principle of Being" (another Principle from my book The Garden of the Soul) to nurture this distortion back to health. In my Garden of the Soul workshop, one of the things I do is take people through a "peeling the onion" exercise where they strip away all the layers of ego until they find the core of the Self, that is not dependent upon time, circumstance, status, money or any other external factor. When we can tap into that resource, we become resilient when stress over money begins to tighten its grip around us.

TODAY'S JOY FORMULA:
Turning Money-Stress into Joy

So many people on the media/Internet talk about "financial freedom". Well, I have a different view of what this term means, and how to create it. So here's your "Joy Formula" for this holiday to help you move from stress and anxiety over money and towards a more creative and empowered life:

1. Explore the true nature of money as a creative energy that is here in the world to serve you and open up possibilities for self-awareness
2. Understand the real reasons why you spend.
3. Dive into the emotions you have been trying to express through your spending, and find ways to express them openly.
4. Identify all the ways you have attached money to your own self-worth, and strip them away to find the true Self.
5. Cut up your credit cards and learn to spend only what you have. This is possibly the most liberating thing I have ever done!
6. Find creative ways to decrease your outgoings through refinancing and/or stopping spending on what is not bringing joy into your life.
7. Sit down with a notepad write down all the things you could create that could result in more wealth flowing into your life.
8. If you find yourself lying awake at night thinking about unpaid bills, stop your thoughts from running away, and start making a mental inventory of all the little things around your home that make your life fun and joyful. Don't forget to count the blanket that is wrapped around you as one of them! Then, wrap the blanket more snugly around you, and nestle into a sweet slumber with a smile on your face.

In the next instalment of my "Holiday Survival Guide"
I'll be talking about how to beat the blues of
feelings of isolation during the Holiday Season.

Again, it's not necessarily what you might think!
Be sure you check it out in 3 days' time.

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Spirit Authors www.spiritauthors.com

SNEAK PREVIEW:
Spirit Authors Virtual Coaching and Learning Experience is Coming Feb 2010
by Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
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Most of you reading this ezine know me as a transformation coach, radio host or author of the book The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self. Some of you might just know me from the social networks like Twitter, Facebook, Ning or LinkedIn. Well, today I'd like to share a side of me that some of you might NOT know, and tell you about a project I'm creating called "Spirit Authors."

Since my book came out in April 2009 and became a mind-body-spirit best-seller (on virtually no marketing budget at all), I have gained a reputation for my online promotional skills. These days I coach a good many people on how to use social networking and blogging to develop their writing, and to promote and launch their book. At first I thought this was a bit unusual, but I recently realised that all my current web-based promotional abilities are really the end result of having been an electronic dance artist, small record label owner and freelance musician in the past. I have spent the major part of the last 30 years inventing new ways to promote my work and make a living as an indie artist. All that professional experience helped me develop a creative and natural approach to self-promotion, and nowadays I help my clients do the same, even those who might have had a "fear" of self-promotion in the past.

But what most of you probably DON'T know about me is that I also have a Masters degree in a really unusual subject: Adult Education and Distance Learning. That means that I have a bunch of experience designing and delivering online courses. I even won the Microsoft UK Innovative teacher of the year award for my use of technology in education in 2005.

So, what does a person who is a social networking mentor, techno-geek, coach, radio host, teacher, distance learning course designer, bestselling mind-body-spirit author with a background in audio and a passion for TALKING a lot do to combine all of her skills, talents and interests in one place?

Well, she creates Spirit Authors (www.spiritauthors.com)

What is Spirit Authors?
It's a brand new virtual learning and coaching experience, providing a comprehensive, inclusive, community-based programme for aspiring, first-time and experienced mind-body-spirit authors, to enable you to transform your personal dream into a life-changing business asset in less than one year.

Even if you haven't yet started writing your book, the purpose of the Spirit Authors membership site is to provide you with all the learning, support and professional resources you will need everything to make your publication a success.

What's in the Spirit Authors programme?

• For those want to learn, we offer a comprehensive online study course for on writing a book, developing a promotional platform, preparing for publication, designing and delivering an Amazon launch, and benefitting from the success of your book. The complete course is made up of 5 modules, each 8 weeks in length. The course will have video, audio, text, workbooks and other resources and templates to help you with your learning. All the materials will be online, and accessible exclusively to members.
• For those who want to expand their professional circle, we offer a members' forum where you can make friends, find professional contacts, establish joint venture opportunities, get feedback on your work and try out new ideas.
• For those who want to get insights from industry professionals, we provide monthly Spirit Circle calls on different topics of interest to MBS authors. If you listen to my radio show, you know I get really interesting people as my guests. Spirit Circle calls will give you focussed answers to your questions in a wide range of topics to do with the mind-body-spirit publishing industry.
• For those who want to find a "one stop" source of information, services and products for their publishing business, we provide an ever-growing "Members Only" containing lists of publishers, radio hosts, proofreaders, press release services and other valuable contacts for your publishing success. I went through a couple of years trying to research and weed through all these contacts. Through Spirit Authors, I'm making it easy for you to find everything you need in one place, and it will grow continually as Spirit Authors grows.
• AND… if you are an author and a member of Spirit Authors, we'll even sell your book on the Spirit Authors Online Shop.
• AND… if you are not an author, but provide a professional service to writers in the mind-body-spirit genre, Spirit Authors can also be a point of contact for you so you can find new clients and increase your business.

Complete Flexibility
Membership at Spirit Authors is completely flexible. Some of you will want to start the course from the beginning, while others only would want some of the later modules. Others don't want to take a course at all, but want all the other benefits of being a member, such as monthly calls, the forum and the professional resources. Well, I have designed Spirit Authors so that you can take only the learning modules you want, OR just join as a Spirit Circle member to have access to the forum, calls and resources.

All in all, Spirit Authors is a membership site that will have something for ANYONE in the mind-body-spirit publishing genre.

Get a VIP Invitation to our Grand Opening
The Grand Opening of Spirit Authors is coming 22-26 Feb 2010, and I'm planning to host a whole week of great guests. So if you're a new author, a not quite started author, or even an established author, I strongly recommend you let me know about your interest by either:

• Becoming a Spirit Authors fan on Facebook OR
• Signing up at the new Spirit Authors Site at http://spiritauthors.com. That's the home of the new site anyway, so if really you want to stay on top of things, be sure you sign up there.

FROM 22-26 FEBRUARY 2010, we'll be having 5 days of FREE webinars with some very special mind-body-spirit professionals. You'll also find out about some free giveaways, a cool contest, and how to take Spirit Authors for a "Test Drive."

Just join either the Facebook fan page, or sign up for our news feed at the Spirit Authors site, and I'll send you a special reminder and VIP invitation to the Grand Opening.

If you want 2010 to be THE year that you write, publish and launch a mind-body-spirit book, with confidence, support and positive energy, come to Spirit Authors.

Warm wishes,

Lynn Serafinn, MAED, CPCC
Transformation Coach, trainer, speaker, radio host
Marketing coach for mind-body-spirit authors
Author of the Amazon bestseller
The Garden of the Soul: lessons from four flowers that unearth the Self

© 2009 Lynn Serafinn at Create-a-Life. All rights reserved.

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Just a few days left to get your free audio...

Buy the book "The Garden of the Soul" on or before 31 December, and RECEIVE over
1 hour in never before released audio book excerpts.

Click HERE for full details

What readers are saying:

"Ms. Serafinn has a way with words that transfers the magic of Spirit from the pages, past the mind, and to the heart. I saw myself in the pages of this book. I saw abusive people in a new light. I saw Spirit in each of us. I recognized where and what I have given. I appreciate what I have received. I am becoming more of my true self, and I am in touch with my inner being."

--Yvonne Perry, Writers in the Sky
Nashville, TN

Many of you are smack in the middle of your holiday gift buying for this year. Well wouldn't it be nice if someone gave a gift to you just for buying a gift for someone else?

That's why I've prepared a very special collection of audios JUST for book fans who purchase The Garden of the Soul from Amazon during the month of December 2009.

What are the audios?

They are the "Lessons from the Rose, Iris, Daffodil and Lily" that start each section of the book. When you hear these particular audios, you'll understand why so many readers have called the book "magical":

"...lyrical style and brilliant imagination... a magical adventure toward deeper understanding of the relationship between Self and the world."

--Alan Seale,
Author of Soul Mission, Life Vision and The Manifestation Wheel

To find out how to receive your fresh new audios (and here a sample clip) just click HERE

Remember, this offer for readers who purchase the book from Amazon on or before 31 December 2009.

Claim your gifts and hear an audio sample at:

http://tinyurl.com/gots-holiday

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in 2010

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I had a walk through it the other day and have just started using it myself and it is WONDERFUL! It's really fun to use and and really helpful. The way it's laid out keeps you inspired to progress down your path. I love the colourful layout and the way you can upload images. The "Life-o-Meter" feature is a great motivator. It's a really clever and useful programme.

We think nothing about buying all sorts of video and computer games that don't really give us anything back of permanent value. Blastation has all the colour, fun and interactivity that makes computer games satisfying, but it's like having a virtual coach.. To me, the FUN factor is what makes it stand out amongst other online self-help tools on the market.

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Broadcast Schedule for beginning of January

Talk Radio:
Lynn Serafinn's
Garden of the Soul

Airs Wednesdays
6 PM UK time, 1 PM Eastern, 10 AM Pacific, 7 PM CET

Wednesday 6 January
Ep47- Defining Your Vision for 2010
Special Guest: Crystal Williamson

Author and Transformation Coach Lynn Serafinn hosts small business and technology coach Crystal Williamson. So, did you make any New Year's resolutions for 2010? How successful were you at keeping your promises to yourself LAST year? Crystal Williamson is a practical coach with a pragmatic "let's get down to it" focus. Working with small businesses and entrepreneurs, she has see all too many clients repeatedly bail out on their personal commitment to excellence, and has devised a system called "G.O.A.L." to help them stay on course. Crystal and Lynn will discuss the typical kinds of resolutions people tend to make, the reasons why so many of us fail to stick with them, and offer practical strategies for making good on our commitments this coming year. Crystal will also take us through the 4 steps of the G.O.A.L. system, so you can make a fresh start in defining and manifesting your vision in 2010.

As she did last year, Lynn will be reading another "Garden of the Soul Meditation" for the week.

Catch the show live
or on demand at
www.blogtalkradio.com/Lynn-Serafinn

Live CHAT available during the show
Listeners can CALL IN with questions
at 646-727-3449 (US number)

Also Coming in 2010

WED 13 Jan
Alan and Marylou Falstreau
Extraordinary artists talk about spirituality and the creative process

WED 20 Jan
FEATURED SHOW: 1ST ANNIVERSAY EPISODE with TONY JUNIPER
Tony Juniper, campaigner, writer, sustainability adviser and one of the UK's best known environmentalists. For the last 25 years he has worked for change toward a more sustainable society at local, national and international levels. From providing ecology and conservation experiences for primary school children, to making the case for new recycling laws, to orchestrating international campaigns for action on rainforests and climate change, his work has sought change at many levels. He also served as Vice-Chair of Friends of the Earth International.

WED 27 Jan
Music from Silly Trilly.
Experimental music from Norway you simply MUST hear. In honour of Mozart's 254th birthday.

WED 3 Feb
Brenda MacIntyre
Native American medicine singing. Healing through song

WED 10 Feb
Heather Woodward
Psychic healing

WED 17 Feb
Spirit Authors Preview Show
Special preview of Spirit Authors Virtual Coaching and Learning Experience

WED 24 Feb
FEATURED SHOW: GROWING OUR FUTURE with Dr Leo Sharashkin
Dr Sharashkin is editor of the bestselling "Anastasia" book series. He'll be talking about the importance for all human beings to re-establish their connection to the Earth, and how the phenomenon created by the publication of Anastaisa books is already changing the lives of people throughout the world.

COMING IN MARCH 2010

Phillip Day: Health Wars
World-renowned author and speaker on nutrition/health (Date to be confirmed)

Barbara Hof: To Be or Not to Be
Author of the book of the same name

Barbara Techel, Ingrid King
Authors speaking aobut how our pets serve us as spiritual teachers